Net All Over: The ISP That’s All Over the Place (Literally and Figuratively)



Let’s talk about Net All Over, the internet service provider with a name that sounds less like a tech company and more like what happens when your cat walks across your keyboard mid-email.

At first glance, they look promising. They advertise nationwide high-speed internet, which sounds great—until you realize it’s about as real as the tooth fairy, but less magical and far more frustrating.

They boast speeds of "up to 1 Gbps", which is technically true—just like a hamster can run 8 miles an hour. Sure. If it’s on meth, in a tailwind, being chased by a hawk. For most users, the only thing moving at gigabit speeds is their rising blood pressure while waiting for a website to load.

Their website proudly states: "No contracts!"—which, let’s be honest, makes perfect sense. Because if their service quality were legally binding, they’d be in court more often than Verizon commercials.

Net All Over claims to cover all 50 states. Which is adorable. But coverage doesn’t mean quality. That’s like saying ketchup is a vegetable—it technically passes, but deep down, we all know it’s a lie.

Their customer service is 24/7, which is great in theory. In practice? It’s like calling an ex at 2am: they might pick up, but they sure as hell won’t help you with your problems.

And yes, they have an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau. Which only proves that even hell has a gifted program. Scroll past that shiny badge and you’ll find reviews so mixed they make your WiFi signal look stable by comparison.

Their target demographic seems to be rural areas—because in the middle of nowhere, expectations are lower and competition is nonexistent. Out there, "buffering" is less a glitch and more a way of life.




If you’ve ever screamed at your router like it owed you money, congratulations—you might be a Net All Over customer.

To summarize:

  • Speeds: Only fast in theory.

  • Coverage: Technically everywhere. Reliably nowhere.

  • Contracts: They don’t trap you—your hope does.

  • Customer Service: 24/7 availability to tell you nothing can be done.





Net All Over isn’t an ISP. It’s a social experiment in collective frustration. A modern art piece in the form of dropped Zoom calls and eternal loading circles.

If you like the idea of internet more than the experience, Net All Over is your soulmate. Everyone else: run while you still have signal.







Update: Since publishing this post, more has come to light about the inner workings of Net All Over—and let’s just say, the dysfunction isn’t limited to their signal strength.

But the problems at Net All Over run deeper than just dropped calls and dodgy coverage. According to anonymous accounts allegedly from former employees, the internal culture is just as unstable as their connection speeds. The current sole owner reportedly runs the company like he’s Gordon Ramsay with a grudge—or worse, a mafia boss stuck in a tech startup.

Reports describe obsessive control over minor infractions—like bathroom cleanliness—with tantrums over things as petty as pubes on a toilet seat. Yes, pubes. Nothing like micromanaging toilet hair to inspire company loyalty.

Multiple sources claim he exaggerated the company’s financial growth, bragging about millions in revenue just months after struggling to pay the bills. Meanwhile, the people who actually helped build the company from the ground up were being quietly edged out—one of them a veteran dealing with PTSD, who was allegedly pushed out after the owner manipulated employees into isolating him.

No names, no need. The story writes itself: a founder obsessed with appearances, managing from a place of ego, not empathy. The kind of leader who starts a podcast about leadership instead of actually demonstrating it.

  • Leadership: One-man theater, heavy on drama, light on integrity.

Q: What does Net All Over stand for?
A: Mostly frustration. And maybe “Not Even Technically All Over.”

  • Job Satisfaction: Only if you enjoy walking on eggshells made of router parts.

  • Performance Reviews: Based on WiFi signal and toilet etiquette.

  • Advancement Opportunities: Limited—unless you’re a mirror reflecting the CEO's ego.


How many companies are run by egos instead of ethics? How often is leadership performative instead of transformative?

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